Last night I spent exactly 2 hours, 1 minute and 4 seconds (according to the timer on my phone), talking with a complete stranger. At first he sent me an e-mail which I responded to and then we entered into a lengthy phone call. It was uncanny how many things we had in common. He lives in Florida and so did we. He lived in Ohio as we did. He has four children like we do. All were home schooled just like ours. Unfortunately, the one thing that brought us into contact is the one that neither of us want to be true.
Honey, just 9 months and 17 days after you left this world, this gentleman’s wife took the same trip as you. Like you, she suffered and left her earthy family way too soon. As he scoured the Internet seeking out other widowers who had written about their own experience he came across this blog along with my YouTube memorial of you. He sent an e-mail to tell me how he was impacted by our story and asked if he could speak with me sometime.
A friend of his posted somewhat of a blog narrating the details of the illness and eventual departure to Heaven. After reading it I felt comfortable that he was sincere. Normally I am not much of a conversationalist, especially by phone and even less so with strangers. In this case I felt lead to speak with him.
He was seeking the same thing that all of us in his position do: answers to the questions that cannot be answered. Why her? Why did she have to suffer? Why did she have to go? Why wasn’t she healed? Soon it will be a year since you went to Heaven. For this man it is only been a matter of a couple of months. I said to him what many said to me. ”You are doing well.” I did not have the fortitude that he does, to have conversations about what happened. That’s why I resorted to writing. It was too difficult to speak the words. I told this man that he was doing well to be able to talk about such a loss so soon.
I could not offer solutions or much advice to this new friend. The circumstances of our introduction are the worst. He has four young children that still need to be raised. They should not be without a mom but have not been given a choice in the matter. I believe in some ways he is worse off than I am. At least I don’t have the responsibility of raising young children. They are all grown up now and in a sense, watching after me.
We talked a long time about our questions and feelings, most of which were the same. He is a spiritual man and knew his Bible with much greater accuracy than I so there was no need for me to turn him to God. He is already in relationship with Him.
We ended our conversation promising to keep in touch and to keep the line of communication open. I wish I could have offered more wisdom. Unfortunately I could not tell him that the pain eventually goes away, you simply become accustomed to it. As for me, the thrill of knowing I will see you again one day will have to be enough. When you see Chris, tell her that Jim and I are friends now and that he will be okay.
As always, I love you and miss you.